Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
