omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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