Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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