I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
