i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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