Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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