it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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