wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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