Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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