So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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