She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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