I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
