I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
