I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
