Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
