i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
