dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
