Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize