my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
