i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
