if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
