That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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