he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
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Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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