he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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