Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize