Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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