He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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