my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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