I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
