I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
