We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
