oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
