Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
