I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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