Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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