are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick