I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.