I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dear god my vagina.
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