So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame