After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
