You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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