i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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