it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
