I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize