Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
