Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
