mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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