Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
