what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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