I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize