this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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