just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
