Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
