two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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