my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
