I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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