just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
