I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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