Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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