porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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