did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
